第一章

I remember the whole beginning as a succession of flights and drops, a little seesaw of the right throbs and the wrong.

直到现在，我仍记得那故事的完整开端，那是一段跌宕起伏、令人胆战心惊的往事。

After rising, in town, to meet his appeal, I had at all events a couple of very bad days—found myself doubtful again, felt indeed sure I had made a mistake.

起床后，按他的请求，我到镇里去拜访他。反正这几天所有事都不顺心，我发现自己又开始犹豫不决，感觉自己肯定是做了个错误的决定。

In this state of mind I spent the long hours of bumping, swinging coach that carried me to the stopping place at which I was to be met by a vehicle from the house. This convenience, I was told, had been ordered, and I found, toward the close of the June afternoon, a commodious fly is waiting for me.

怀着这样的心情，我在颠簸摇晃的马车上坐了几个小时到一个地方去，那里的人家会派一辆车在那里等我。我被告知，如此便利的旅程是提前安排的，在六月末的一个午后，我发现宽阔的命运之路正等待着我。

Driving at that hour, on a lovely day, through a country to which the summer sweetness seemed to offer me a friendly welcome, my fortitude mounted afresh and, as we turned into the avenue, encountered a reprieve that was probably but a proof of the point to which it had sunk. I suppose I had expected, or had dreaded, something so melancholy that what greeted me was a good surprise.

这一天天气晴朗，马车奔走在乡间小道上，夏天的甜蜜好像也在友好地欢迎着我，我的决心也越发坚定而上升到了新的高度，当我们驶进大道，遇到暂缓行驶时，那可能只是证明我的心沉到了那种程度。我想我之前所预计或担心的都太过悲观了，以至于眼前迎接我的事物让我惊异不已。

I remember as a most pleasant impression the broad, clear front, its open windows and fresh curtains and the pair of maids looking out; I remember the lawn and the bright flowers and the crunch of my wheels on the gravel and the clustered treetops over which the rooks circled and cawed in the golden sky.

那宽敞明亮的房屋正面给我留下了非常美好的印象，敞开的窗子，崭新的窗帘，以及望着窗外的两个女仆，我记得草坪和鲜艳的花儿，还有车轮在砾石上碾过的嘎吱声，金色的天空下一群白嘴鸦在树梢间盘旋鸣叫。

The scene had a greatness that made it a different affair from my own scant home, and there immediately appeared at the door, with a little girl in her hand, a civil person who dropped me as decent a curtsy as if I had been the mistress or a distinguished visitor.

这里的景色有一种宏伟的气势，与我那狭小的家截然不同。门口立刻就出现了一位有教养的太太，她手里拉着一个小女孩，向我行了一个屈膝礼，就好像我是这里的女主人或是尊贵的客人一样。

I had received in Harley Street a narrower notion of the place, and that, as I recalled it, made me think the proprietor still more of a gentleman, suggested that what I was to enjoy might be something beyond his promise.

我以前在哈利街的时候，就对这里稍有了解，现在回想一下，我感觉这家主人更加绅士了，可能我会过得比他承诺的更好。

I had no drop again till the next day, for I was carried triumphantly through the following hours by my introduction to the younger of my pupils. The little girl who accompanied Mrs. Grose appeared to me on the spot a creature so charming as to make it a great fortune to have to do with her. She was the most beautiful child I had ever seen, and I afterward wondered that my employer had not told me more of her.

我的心情一直到第二天都很好，因为我很高兴地在接下来的时间里，把自己介绍给了我的学生中年幼的一位。和格罗斯太太一同出现在我面前的小女孩，长得很迷人，能和她在一起真是莫大的幸运。她是我见过的最美丽的孩子，后来我都在想为什么我的雇主并未跟我多讲些她的事情。

I slept little that night—I was too much excited; and this astonished me, too, I recollect, remained with me, adding to my sense of the liberality with which I was treated.

那天晚上我几乎没合眼——我太激动了，我还记得那种受到如此宽厚待遇的感觉，这让我很惊讶。

The large, impressive room, one of the best in the house, the great state bed, as I almost felt it, the full, figured draperies, the long glasses in which, for the first time, I could see myself from head to foot, all struck me—like the extraordinary charm of my small charge—as so many things thrown in.

这间宽敞的、让人印象深刻的房间，是这所房子里最好的，宽敞舒适的大床，饱满而又华丽的帏帐，如此长的镜子，我还是第一次可以从头到脚看到自己，这些都吸引着我——就像我那极其迷人的学生吸引着我一样——太多的事闯进我的生活。

It was thrown in as well, from the first moment, that I should get on with Mrs. Grose in a relation over which, on my way, in the coach, I fear I had rather brooded.

当然，从第一刻起，这些事也包括我应该跟格罗斯太太友好相处，这也是我在来时的马车上考虑了很久的问题。

The only thing indeed that in this early outlook might have made me shrink again was the clear circumstance of her being so glad to see me. I perceived within half an hour that she was so glad—stout, simple, plain, clean, wholesome woman—as to be positively on her guard against showing it too much.

在这最初的接触中，唯一使我又一次感到畏缩的，就是那显而易见的场景——她非常高兴看到我。她是个身材丰满、朴实、简单、整洁、健康的女人，我不到半小时就觉察到她很高兴，却极力地避免表现出来。

I wondered even then a little why she should wish not to show it, and that, with reflection, with suspicion, might of course have made me uneasy.

我有点儿想不明白，她为什么不愿表现出她很高兴，也许就是这些思考和猜疑让我有了一丝不安。

But it was a comfort that there could be no uneasiness in a connection with anything so beatific as the radiant image of my little girl, the vision of whose angelic beauty had probably more than anything else to do with the restlessness that, before morning, made me several times rise and wander about my room to take in the whole picture and prospect; to watch, from my open window, the faint summer dawn, to look at such portions of the rest of the house as I could catch, and to listen, while, in the fading dusk, the first birds began to twitter, for the possible recurrence of a sound or two, less natural and not without, but within, that I had fancied I heard. There had been a moment when I believed I recognized, faint and far, the cry of a child; there had been another when I found myself just consciously starting as at the passage, before my door, of a light footstep.

但是，一想到我那如此美丽、如此快乐的小女孩，她应该不会给我带来烦恼，我就心平气和了。其实她那天使般的美丽比起其他更让我坐立不安，天亮之前，我几次起身在房间内徘徊，展望整个美景。我从开着的窗户观看透着微光的夏日黎明，观察房子外所能看到的其他景致，倾听在逐渐褪去的夜色中第一群鸟儿开始啼叫，其中好像还夹杂一两声怪异的声音，不是从外面传来的，而是房子里发出来的，我很惊奇于自己竟然听到了这种声音。曾经我一度认为听到的是远处传来的小孩微弱的哭泣声，可另一次当我发现自己很清醒地向走廊走去时，我明明听见了轻轻的脚步声，就在我门前。

But these fancies were not marked enough not to be thrown off, and it is only in the light, or the gloom, I should rather say, of other and subsequent matters that they now come back to me.

但是这些想象不很清晰，又无法忽略，它只是时明时暗，换句话说，这些随后会发生的事此时出现在我面前。

To watch, teach, "form" little Flora would too evidently be the making of a happy and useful life. It had been agreed between us downstairs that after this first occasion I should have her as a matter of course at night, her small white bed being already arranged, to that end, in my room.

毫无疑问，看管、教育， “塑造” 小弗洛拉，成为我快乐而有意义的生活的全部。在楼下时我们就商量好了，第一天过后，晚上她理所应当和我一起睡，出于这样的目的，她的小白床已经在我房间里布置好。

What I had undertaken was the whole care of her, and she had remained, just this last time, with Mrs. Grose only as an effect of our consideration for my inevitable strangeness and her natural timidity. In spite of this timidity—which the child herself, in the oddest way in the world, had been perfectly frank and brave about, allowing it, without a sign of uncomfortable consciousness, with the deep, sweet serenity indeed of one of Raphael's holy infants, to be discussed, to be imputed to her, and to determine us—I feel quite sure she would presently like me. It was part of what I already liked Mrs. Grose herself for, the pleasure I could see her feel in my admiration and wonder as I sat at supper with four tall candles and with my pupil, in a high chair and a bib, brightly facing me, between them, over bread and milk.

我曾许诺要照顾她的方方面面，她还要留下和格罗斯太太一起度过最后一个晚上，因为我们考虑到她对我感觉还有些陌生，而且她性格本来就很害羞。虽然这个孩子非常胆怯，但她以这世界上最奇怪的方式，坦然而勇敢地接受这一点，没有任何使人感到不舒服的地方，恰如拉斐尔笔下的圣婴般深沉而恬静，这些赋予她的气质都有待研究，也影响着我们——我十分肯定她会立马喜欢上我的。我已经开始喜欢格罗斯太太了，一部分原因是，当晚餐时，我和戴着围兜、坐在高脚椅上欢快的学生面对而坐，四枝高蜡烛围绕的桌子上放着面包和牛奶，可以看得出来我钦佩和惊讶的神情使她很高兴。

There were naturally things that in Flora's presence could pass between us only as prodigious and gratified looks, obscure and roundabout allusions.

弗洛拉的在场，使我和格罗斯太太之间的交流，只能通过惊奇或满意的表情，还有含糊而迂回的暗示来完成。

"And the little boy—does he look like her? Is he too so very remarkable?”

“那个小男孩长得和她像吗？他也是如此出类拔萃吗？”

One wouldn't flatter a child. "Oh, miss, MOST remarkable. If you think well of this one! " —And she stood there with a plate in her hand, beaming at our companion, who looked from one of us to the other with placid heavenly eyes that contained nothing to check us.

大人不该如此恭维一个孩子。 “哦，小姐，他是最出色的。如果你觉得这个小女孩不错的话。” 她站在那里，手里端着一个盘子，冲着我们微笑着，她用天真无邪、纯净柔美的眼神一会儿看看我，一会儿看看她。

"Yes; if I do—?”

“是的，如果我——”

"You WILL be carried away by the little gentleman! "

“这位小绅士会把你迷倒的！”

"Well, that, I think, is what I came for—to be carried away. I 'm afraid, however, " I remember feeling the impulse to add, I' m rather easily carried away. I was carried away in London!”

“是的，我想，我就是想被他迷住才到这里来的。但是，恐怕，” 我记得当时一股冲动让我补充道， “我是个很容易就被迷住的人。我对伦敦就很着迷！”

I can still see Mrs. Grose's broad face as she took this in.

当格罗斯太太说这些话时，我仍能看见她大大的脸。

"In Harley Street? "

“住在哈利街吗？”

"In Harley Street. "

“在哈利街。”

"Well, miss, you're not the first—and you won't be the last.”

“哦，小姐，你不是第一位，而且也不会是最后一位。”

"Oh, I've no pretension, " I could laugh, "to being the only one. My other pupil, at any rate, as I understand, comes back tomorrow? "

“哦，” 我只能笑道， “我没自负到认为我是唯一的老师。我听说，另外一个学生明天无论如何都会回来了吧？”

"Not tomorrow—Friday, miss. He arrives, as you did, by the coach, under care of the guard, and is to be met by the same carriage.”

“不是明天，而是星期五，小姐。他和您一样，会在警卫的看护下乘坐接您的那辆马车来。”

I forthwith expressed that the proper as well as the pleasant and friendly thing would be therefore that on the arrival of the public conveyance I should be in waiting for him with his little sister; an idea in which Mrs. Grose concurred so heartily that I somehow took her manner as a kind of comforting pledge—never falsified, thank heaven! That we should on every question be quite at one.

我随即表示，在他正式到来之时，我和他的小妹妹一起去接他，这是既合理、又令人愉快而表示友好的做法。这个主意得到了格罗斯太太真诚的回应，不知为何我把她的态度作为一种令人欣慰的保证，她从不虚情假意，真是谢天谢地！我们应该在每个问题上都能取得一致。

Oh, she was glad I was there! What I felt the next day was, I suppose, nothing that could be fairly called a reaction from the cheer of my arrival; it was probably at the most only a slight oppression produced by a fuller measure of the scale, as I walked round them, gazed up at them, took them in, of my new circumstances.

哦，她很高兴我当时在那里！接下来那天我感到，和刚到达这里的新鲜感相比，没什么能让我反应强烈了。我在这里散步，凝视这里的一切，对这个新环境日渐了解，我感到自己有如负荷过重的天平，多少有一点点压抑。

They had, as it were, an extent and mass for which I had not been prepared and in the presence of which I found myself, freshly, a little scared as well as a little proud.

它们的程度和数量是我始料未及的，我清晰地发觉自己有点儿害怕，又有点儿自豪。

Lessons, in this agitation, certainly suffered some delay; I reflected that my first duty was, by the gentlest arts I could contrive, to win the child into the sense of knowing me.

在这种烦乱中，课程有些推迟。我考虑了一下，我的首要任务便是用我能想到的最温柔的方式，让这个小孩子熟悉我。

I spent the day with her out—of—doors; I arranged with her, to her great satisfaction, that it should be she, she only, who might show me the place. She showed it step by step and room by room and secret by secret, with droll, delightful, childish talk about it and with the result, in half an hour, of our becoming immense friends. Young as she was, I was struck, throughout our little tour, with her confidence and courage with the way, in empty chambers and dull corridors, on crooked staircases that made me pause and even on the summit of an old machicolated square tower that made me dizzy, her morning music, her disposition to tell me so many more things than she asked, rang out and led me on. I have not seen Bly since the day I left it, and I daresay that to my older and more informed eyes it would now appear sufficiently contracted. But as my little conductress, with her hair of gold and her frock of blue, danced before me round corners and pattered down passages, I had the view of a castle of romance inhabited by a rosy sprite, such a place as would somehow, for diversion of the young idea, take all color out of storybooks and fairytales.

我一整天都和她呆在户外，我安排让她领我到各个地方走走看看，而且只能是她来完成这个任务，这种特权让她十分满足。她带着我一层一层地，挨门挨户地探寻一个又一个秘密，她用逗趣的、愉快的、孩子气般的话语和我聊着，仅仅半个小时，我们就成为了亲密无间的朋友。使我吃惊的是，在我们短短的旅程中，她虽小，却自信勇敢地引导着我们前进，在空荡的房间里，昏暗的走廊中，弯曲的楼梯上，甚至是让我眩晕的开堞眼的方塔顶端，所到之处，都弥漫着她那欢快的歌声、洋溢着爽朗的性情，并指引着我，而她的话语中，给我讲得多，问得很少。离开后，我就再也没去过布莱，我敢说随着我的日渐成熟和视野的扩大，现在那里显得并没有多大。但是我这位向导小姐，头发金黄、身穿蓝袍，在拐角处旋转着舞蹈，噔噔地蹦跳着下楼，我恍如看见在一个传奇的城堡里住着的一个快乐的小精灵，在我年轻的头脑里，这个地方变幻成为故事书或童话中描绘的那般奇幻色彩。

Wasn't it just a storybook over which I had fallen adoze and adream? No; it was a big, ugly, antique, but convenient house, embodying a few features of a building still older, half—replaced and half—utilized, in which I had the fancy of our being almost as lost as a handful of passengers in a great drifting ship.

这不就是我曾梦到并着迷的故事书里的情景吗？不，这是一个巨大、丑陋、古老却很便利的房子，带着古老、半修半用的一些特点，在这里，我们有种幻想，就如同一大艘漂流的船上几个乘客一般，迷茫而失落。

Well, I was, strangely, at the helm!

而奇怪的是，我就是那个掌舵的人！